The theme this week is 2017 Favorites where I am meant to pick out my favourite picture that I took this year and reminisce. Unfortunately, I didn’t really take a ton of actual meaningful pictures this year. I didn’t take a lot of down time, and I’m fairly sure I can count on one hand how many times I’ve picked up my camera. That makes me a little sad, but life happens when you’re not paying attention, and here we are at the end of a turbulent 2017.
Although I didn’t take a ton of pictures, I made a ton of memories and some new friends. It takes me a while to actually open up to people and be my real self. Not the snarky, sarcastic, cynical, tells-you-all-the-worst-things-about-me-right-out-of-the-gate-to-laugh-while-you-run-to-the-hills me. (And sure I’ve opened up on here, and told you all about some fairly trying times and some of my insecurities, but I still don’t really feel like I’ve said anything that would make me feel like I’ve actually opened up. Weird, I know) I typically either through myself into friendships head first (like when I had classes with people in college and found a person or two whom I would invite out and we would just be BFF’s, even just for the semester) or it takes me months or even years to fully develop a kinship with someone. (I’m not sure if you guys have noticed, but I’m a bit of an opinionated weirdo and some people just can’t take that level of awesomeness. I understand, and even appreciate, that I can be tough to take, especially during my depression phases; and some might argue I’m even worse to tolerate during a manic episode [that all depends on what type of personality you have and whether or not we’re clashing or meshing])
Anyways, I picked this picture as I was scrolling through some of the pictures in my gallery because it gave me a chance to really sum up what all changes I have made this year. (With a tad more reflection than my Manic Year: a Review) I am still in the same apartment (coming up on the end of 3 years – which is a feat for a nomad like me!), I am still at the same job (see previous parenthetical), I have made some new friends and even gone out with them (like in public, and done stuff *gasp*), I took a vacation for the first time in years (also with a new friend), I bought my dream car (on a little bit of a whim, but it was necessary), I started this blog to hopefully reach out to help people, and I started writing fan-fiction on Tumblr (it’s all smut, and I’m @sammys-smutty-writter) in order to get my story writing itch under scratched.
This is a picture that represents the start of something new in myself this year, that I’d never really done in the past. I had always used my mental health as a shock-and-awe sort of fact about me. I didn’t truly embrace it, and I never thought about using my “insider-knowledge” to help others through their bad times. After getting my orange Lokai bracelet I really started to understand the importance of spreading awareness and breaking the stigma that comes with having any sort of mental illness diagnosis. It was after this that I found out about Jared Padalecki’s Always Keep Fighting campaign and the subsequent Supernatural Hotline that they’ve started to do exactly what I would like to think that I’m trying to do.
I would love to be able to work at a hotline or something like that, but I am aware enough of myself that I know that I am not in a good enough place with my own mental stability, and that I wouldn’t be very capable trying to help someone else right now. So I write and I talk to people who will listen and I’m trying to set goals for myself that reflect my new life mission to help people. Until I can achieve anything I will show my support through whatever means possible, and I will talk with, or to, whoever will listen.
So that’s a list of my accomplishments this year, hopefully they won’t have been in vain and I’ll be able to keep up the momentum into 2018! I plan to keep up this blog and would love to have a more interactive experience with my fellow bloggers on WP, as well as on Tumblr. I would like to make writing a more daily practice for myself, and I would love to be more present in my life and take full advantage of every opportunity presented to me.
So au revoir 2017 and bienvenue 2018!